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How to create hundreds of fast alerts for searches based on latest events, not real-time or time frame?

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Existential question here... :) What is the appropriate mechanism in Splunk to have multiple (potentially hundreds) of alerts that are based on the latest events, rather than real-time or timeframe searches, while keeping our Splunk deployment sane and simple? (Is it even possible?) Example: I need an alert when a volume (disk) breaches an 80% used space threshold, and need it within 30 seconds of when Splunk gets an event. (Then similar alerts for NAS and SAN volumes, CPU, memory, interface utilization, and a whole bunch of other metrics.) Setting up a few dozen of these realtime searches and respective alerts brings our cluster to its knees. Attempting to set up auto-refreshing and *fast* dashboards with the same metrics simply knocks it out. Whereas doing something like this in Solarwinds or Datadog - piece of cake, including statistics-based metrics (e.g. if a metric exceeds a 30-minute baseline by more than 20% over the last 3 minutes). Is Splunk not the right product for the task? If it is, what is the technical term for my problem, how can it be solved in Splunk, and would you be so kind as to point me to where it's discussed? Thanks!

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